I AM HOME. I AM CHANGED. THANK YOU AFRICA!

This time one week ago I was winging my way home to Austin, from the depths of the Botswana bush.  It took a truck, a helicopter, small planes, big planes and well over 24 hours for me to go from my tent under a massive Leadwood tree to the arms of my happy little family.  What a trip!  What an adventure....

But first, I apologize for the lack of blog entries while I was in the bush.  I knew there was no way I would be able to get online to do them, so charged my husband with the task.  But he had a lot on his plate while I was gone, not least of which was taking care of our little nearly-three year old daughter.  And in the end, all he ever heard of me was a one line email from the film's producer that I was doing OK.  So you didn't miss much!

Due to the constraints of my contract for this project, I'm not allowed to discuss much of what happened - you'll get to watch in on The Discovery Channel in due course and I promise to let you know the international transmission dates as soon as I know about them.  For now all I know is that the series is slated to air on Discovery Europe in the Fall, and hopefully Discovery America and World Wide around the same time.

So what was it like?  Well, (and I'm stealing this phrase from someone who knows what he's talking about), trying to describe what it's like to be alone in the bush is like trying to describe a new color.  The experience was so intense on so many different levels, and so unlike anything I've ever been privileged to embark upon, that it's simply impossible to put into words.  I underwent mental, physical, emotional and spiritual transformations.  My fear of the obvious and not-so-obvious prior to arriving in Botswana were threatening to crumple me, but oddly lifted the moment I set foot in the bush.  Perhaps because by then there was no backing out, or because of the safety measures put in place for my experience, but either way my fear (the paralyzing kind) was transformed into fascination - at the place, the experience, and the feelings both lead me to.

I spent 7 nights in the bush.  I heard lions outside my tent and saw their tracks in the morning.  I saw the sun set and the moon rise at exactly the same time and am still in awe of that sight.  I set animal traps and fishing lines, collected firewood and boiled water endlessly.  I slept terribly some nights and like a baby on others.  I was hungry.  Very hungry.  I got further from myself and closer to God.

It was all totally, utterly worth it.

Let's just hurry up and DO this!!!

I want to say that I simply have not been able to find the time to blog, but the truth is more likely to be that I have been avoiding it.  There's a lot to say and I feel like I'm saying it all every day to anyone I talk to, including myself.  So avoidance has been my cop out.

Last Wednesday 4th I arrived in London to fulfill an engagement to speak at an event in London.  As is normal behaviour for me, I leave my speech-giving preparations until the very last minute - I'm a sucker for working under pressure (pun completely intended) - and this time was no different.  But pressure is my friend, and the evening went off very well.  It was the Royal Automobile Club's centenary celebration and the sub-aqua club of The RAC asked me to be their speaker at a shindig to mark the occasion.  I've been fortunate to speak for them a couple of times in the past, so it was less daunting and more enjoyable than many such "gigs" I've done.  And it was only made better by having 3 dear friends present to support me.

The evening started with an octopush game between the RAC and a visiting side.  Many years ago, before I was freediving, I played octopush (underwater hockey) a handful of times and it's an extremely tough game.  But not much of a spectator sport.  With a great deal of skill, the game was projected onto a big-screen TV poolside for the champagne-sipping guests to watch.  For my sins, I was asked to commentate which was no easy task...and I can't say for sure whether I did a good job or not.  But either way, the evening went on and dinner was lovely.  My talk over coffee was entitled "Under The Ice At The Bottom Of The World" and, touched on my experiences scuba diving under the ice at McMurdo Base in Antarctica in October 2009.  All in all, it was a great night from my perspective and I think the guests enjoyed themselves too.

Since then it's been a countdown to Africa, and a bit too long if I'm honest.  I've spent the last 5 nights here in England with very dear friends in different parts of the country which has helped to keep my nerves at bay a little.  Well, not that much actually!  I've had the need to talk endlessly about the adventure ahead and have had willing participants in the ongoing conversation, but at this point I'm ready to stop talking and start doing.  Let's just hurry up and DO this!!

Tomorrow I will board a flight to South Africa then onwards to Botswana.  Then a small airplane into the bush followed by a helicopter deep into the Ocovango Delta.  Two other participants will go on their indivual adventures into the bush at the same time and, together with some of the production crew, we will all make this long journey out there together.  There will be a lot more talking, I'm sure.  But this time it will be with others who are about to endure all the same trials and tribulations that come with signing on to a project that involves lone survival in the place of our human ancestry.  I don't know about them, but I am seriously excited and seriously nervous......

(From this point on, as and when and if my husband gets any news of me from Botswana he will post it here.  So if you're interested in hearing how things are going, check back in again soon!  Meantime, prayers for the safety of all of us on this journey are much appreciated!!)

A very tough goodbye.

I have a long 3+ weeks ahead of me. But I am not the only one. Sure, it's me who will be clocking the miles, changing overnight locales every 2 days in England and then doing all it takes to survive in the wilds of Botswana....but Paul and Tilly won't have it that easy either without Mama T around.

I am blessed with an incredible husband who is an amazing father to our little 2 year old daughter. (Three in August, as she keeps telling us!). Without his love, support and encouragement I would not have achieved the things I have in the past 18 years together, let alone have all that it takes to embrace a challenge such as the film project that lies ahead of me.

So saying goodbye to him and Tilly to be so far away and undertaking such a huge endeavor was not easy. And the days of Tilly not really understanding what it means to drop me at the airport are gone. She is smart and gets it :( There were tears and screaming for "one more hug and kiss, Mama!!" which tore my heart to bits. I was smart enough to skip the mascara today....I knew I wouldn't be able to hold back my own tears.

Launching My Blog.

It's almost 1am.  I have a really long list of things to get done before flying to the UK on Tuesday and then onward the following week to Africa for the adventure of a lifetime.  (More about that tomorrow, when my eyelids aren't threatening to stick to my tired, dry eyes.)

Instead, between last minute loads of laundry and vague attempts to start packing, I've spent way too long fussing over the color of the blog background and size of the font.  Always the procrastinator!  And now, a mind-numbing first post to simply see how this whole thing works.  Hang in there - I promise this will get more interesting.

Spoiler Alert!  The aforementioned "adventure of a lifetime" is a show about survival for The Discovery Channel.......